Ducks drop three in a row

The NHL's front-running Anaheim Ducks have dropped three straight games, giving the rest of the league renewed hope, and a reason to continue to check games scores every night.

"It really sucks taking over a team and watching them swirl down the toilet, just as you begin to exert your personality on the team,"New Ducks GM Hopkins cried bitterly into his morning scotch and soda,"I'm gonna blow this whole thing up."

The Ducks' demise has conincided with the loss of third line center, Derek Ryan, to an undisclosed upper body injury.  

"Ryan is clearly the key to this team,"muttered the embattled GM,"I must get more like him."

The despondent GM is rumoured to have made three deals in the past few days in an attempt to avert the skid, bringing in Jossi Jokinen, Michael Liles, and Chris Stewart while shipping out Brendan Dillon, two fifth rd picks, (2018 and 2019), a second rd pick, and some under sized Euro trash prospect.

"I just can't bear to watch Ben Smith play anymore,"the Ducks GM grumbled, "Jokinen cures me of that particular problem"

"...Dillon had to go because I have a huge man crush on Borowiecki and just got to have him on the ice, Dillon was obviously in the way of that.  Opposing teams do not relish playing in our end against any D pair now.  One of Byfuglien, Jones, or Borowiecki is always in the ice, looking to crush their bodies, minds and spirit."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do with Stewart...I've already got the bruise brothers (McLeod and Clifford), on my fourth...at least he gives me someone good to play when we have injuries from now on...Fischer can go back to the farm until next year, instead of making me panic for ten minutes a night."

"I think everyone loves Liles...I guess I already had a Liles clone in Schlemko...but there's nothing like the original.  I feel comfortable slotting him onto any of the D pairs...he's decent at everything."

After all these earth shattering moves, the league, is reportedley trembling in fear.